Why are photos and videos so important?

In 2016, I received a call from a doctor about some testing that we had undergone on my son Eric. He told me it was possible that Eric had a really rare and fatal disease called Niemann Pick Type C. I felt like my world crumbled that day. I emailed my photography mentor Karen and texted my accountability group and a few other ladies from a year long photography project called A Year in the Making (AYITM) I'd been involved in. Karen sent out an email to the group. They enveloped me in their love. They carried me through. Within 3 days, one of my dear AYITM ladies had put me in touch with a world expert on this very rare disease and he called me on my cell phone and talked with me and my husband for over twenty minutes. He gave me the names of more tests to run for my son that would confirm the diagnosis, one of which the doctors in Utah had never even heard of. I received texts, emails, cards, and even cupcakes. But that phone call from the doctor at Boston Children's Hospital proved to me what a miracle this AYITM had been for me. All of my friends, coworkers, family and those of my husband were amazed at what this group of women was able to accomplish for us and our sweet boy. It took 8 long weeks for us to receive the news that Eric did not have the disease, although he is a carrier for it. It is something that he will need to be aware of when he gets married and decides to have a family of his own. This potential diagnosis hit us hard. I was determined to capture him, while I had him in my arms. I didn’t want to lose even a moment. And learning video meant I got to capture more than just a moment. I got to capture how he called me “maman” instead of mama. Or Graham telling me that he learned his latest trick “at costco.” Their little voices. The way they say certain words, like “Darth Mader” instead of Darth Vader.

During AYITM, I had the pleasure of getting to know a woman named Jen Aspinall. A few months into AYITM, Jen was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer. She happened to be in my accountability group and we all rallied around her. That diagnosis bound us all together. These women taught me the value of showing up for one another. While at the workshop, Jen and I were talking and I asked her if she would let me help her record some videos for her daughter Brooke and her husband Steve. She broke down in tears and said yes. I had never done anything like this, so I went home and came up with a plan to help me do it. I signed up for email updates from Emily Mitchell of Everyday Films. Her next class was full, but I was hopeful to get into a later one. Emily emailed me that same night and told me that she had one opening in her class and that she wanted to offer it to me first. When I wrote her back telling her about Jen and my reasons for wanting to take the class, this was her response: “Oh my gosh, wow...you know, it was so weird. I was thinking this evening - the thought just came to me that someone was going to sign up, and that I needed to ask this lady instead of emailing everyone to try to fill the spot, which normally I would have already done. And I don't know why, but these words came into my head that I was supposed to ask you..."Is there a specific reason you signed up...is there an event coming up, or some great grandparents who you'll be seeing?" Isn't that odd? Kind of came out of nowhere.” I felt like God, the Universe, whatever you want to call it was pushing me to do this and was providing the means to make it happen. 

I was supposed to go see Jen in August and start recording videos. She got too sick, too fast and told me she didn’t feel up to it any longer. I felt like I had disappointed her. I felt like I had failed her because this was one way I could help and it was no longer an option. I was able to go visit her in October of 2016. The weekend before she passed away. I didn’t know how bad she had gotten. I didn’t know the end was so close until I arrived at the hospital. I went to visit her the second day at her home and she mentioned that Brooke had a horse show the next day that she was heartsick about missing. I told her I would go and do videos for her to be able to see Brooke compete. I had never spent time with Brooke or Steve. My best friends Kellie & Kelley stayed in the car. We thought it was going to be a quick thing because we showed up right before her “go time.” It turned into hours of waiting. Hours that I got to spend talking to Steve. Hours spent watching Brooke come alive on her horse. I never got back to see Jen. I went from the horse show directly to the airport. I got home Sunday night. I edited the videos together for Jen and sent it to her Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. Jen passed away Friday evening. 

A few weeks after she passed, I got this text from Jennifer Kingston (Jen’s best friend). "As for videos, on the night before she died, Steve brought Brooke to the hospital, as Jen knew it was close. When Brooke arrived, Jen was sleeping so I woke her up and Brooke was acting aloof. I mentioned your video of Brooke at the horse show and told Brooke she and Jen could watch it in Jen's hospital bed. Brooke agreed and the two of them sat together on the bed while they watched and Steve photographed. Once the video ended, Brooke popped up and started playing video games, but Jen started watching videos of your kids (I guess they must have been available on the link you shared). We sat and watched them and she was really happy in a really hard moment when Brooke was distancing herself from her.You brought her joy in a horribly awful difficult time. And I will always be thankful for it. You gave them their last good memory together." 

You never know what the photos and videos may mean to someone. I had no idea that the little horse show video I put together for Jen would be her last good memory with her daughter. I had no idea that the photos and videos I had been taking of my son Eric would mean even more to me after the crazy diagnosis and further testing we went through.

Jen and Eric pushed me to find my love for videos and photography. And I will spend the rest of my life capturing them for myself and for others because these everyday moments, these are the moments that matter.